i'm falling to pieces

today i went for 2 masses. i had to go the 9am mass cos i had to attend the entrance ritual for confirmands, and i had to attend the 11am mass cos iw as lectoring for family mass. and i had to wear purple, but because i didn't have anything purple in my closet my mom made me wear a skirt and a purple turtle-neck shirt thing and gosh it was so awkward! you can't even sit down in it! what kinda outfit is that! i mean, when my friends saw me wear this, one said "oh my god jess, are you wearing a SKIRT??", another said "you know, you should put this down in your diary, 'i wore a skirt today!' i mean, it's like a milestone!"and another said "wow jessica, you look snazzy today." when i asked my bro what snazzy was, he said "it's like the Beegees." and i didn't really understand him.
well, jon came back from NS and told us about his NS life, and gosh it was damn funny, although quite vulgar as well. but the vulgarities are pretty appropriate because, heck, it's army life. what's army life without swear words??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIMBERLYYY. HOPE YOU HAD FUN TODAYY (:

look what you've done..

...sighh

yayy i did okay for maths. well, at least i improved from last year. heehee..but i have a lot of careless mistakes. =.= darn it. hmmm okay what else this week? nothing much. just that i'm bloody bored. hahaha i can't bring myself to study chemistry ): and i think i'm gonna fail my argumentative essay. i totally can't dig out the main points and ermm argue about them! hahaha i fail at debate and arguing! then hmmm...i'm totally blur about biology, i totally suck at nutrients and i can't remember a thing. i threw everything away for chemistry about the structure and bonding and periodic trends, and all i can remember doing for my a.maths graphs is drawing a burger king graph and flipping my line upside down on the graph like a pancake. trampoline is getting better at least, but i have less than 10 trainings left...and i can't even join my whole routine up together, while the others can already execute their routine without even warming up. @#%yayy i did okay for maths. well, at least i improved from last year. heehee..but i have a lot of careless mistakes. =.= darn it. hmmm okay what else this week? nothing much. just that i'm bloody bored. hahaha i can't bring myself to study chemistry ): and i think i'm gonna fail my argumentative essay. i totally can't dig out the main points and ermm argue about them! hahaha i fail at debate and arguing! then hmmm...i'm totally blur about biology, i totally suck at nutrients and i can't remember a thing. i threw everything away for chemistry about the structure and bonding and periodic trends, and all i can remember doing for my a.maths graphs is drawing a burger king graph and flipping my line upside down on the graph like a pancake. trampoline is getting better at least, but i have less than 10 trainings left...and i can't even join my whole routine up together, while the others can already execute their routine without even warming up. @#%$&*^$#!!? i hope i'm the reserve. and i can't go for intensive training camp cos i have a church camp on exactly the same days. och noo!! and and...never mind. bleahh

oh no why am i feeling this way..i shouldn't be like this at all. someone please help me. pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease

huryaaa!!!

my brudder came home yesterday from NS. :D he looks so manly! and he has a crew cut, and he can't sit down in the shopping mall cos his commander says it's not what a solider would do. and he looks so cool in his uniform, and his backpack is so huge, and his company name is so awesome:Orion. woohoo~ he says the food in NS is good, but the training sucks. cos they wake up at 5am, fall in at 5.45, and then they have PE until 6.30, breakfast, then PE, then PE, then lunch i think, then lecture, then PE. and they sleep at 10.30pm everyday. and his bunkmates are crazy. one sings the song "1985" in chinese, and another sings...i can't remember, but another song in cantonese. hahaha! and he says he wants to go to OCS (Officer Commander School) cos he says they're slack. for example. 3 people are assigned to a machine gun. one soldier holds the rolls of bullets, another holds the tripod. and the Officer Commander holds the binoculars.
and that's what he inspires to be.
what a slacker.
but i'm glad he's home! hahaha! it's been so weird without him around~ mmhmmm...((:
it's Petwinaa's birthday today!! happy birthday Petwinaa! Hope you enjoy your birthday, don't study and just enjoy yourself today, cos it only happens once every 365 days!!

To be hurt.
To feel lost.
To be left out in the dark.
To be kicked when you're down.
To feel like you've been pushed around.
to be on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save you..
no you don't know what it's like..
welcome to my life.

i'm the luckiest girl in the world~

goshh...today was so awesome, i don't know where to start. hahaha.

first of all, i didn't get seasick. second of all, i didn't get sunburnt. last of all, i saw a leopard shark and a manta ray in the same dive. which is, extremely lucky. for example, my parents waited 15 years to see one manta ray, and i managed to see one on my 17th dive. and this was extremely huge, gigantic. 2-3m wingspan, and it glided towards us and over us and disappeared again. goshh it was so amazing. nothing else to say now, so i'll just put up some pics. (:

yellow seahorse!!

leopard shark! but my dad took the back of it...):

me! harharhar...

moray eel. :D

someone left the cake out in the rain..

gong hee fat choi

heyy..it's the new year and valentine's day (:

well i'm in phuket now. spent the whole of yesterday and today diving. 2 dives yesterday and 3 dives today. i saw a black tip reef shark and seahorses and blue spotted lagoon rays and a banded sea snake! whoo i feel so lucky~ hahaha...but i'm really exhuasted now. i only got back on shore at 8pm..which is 9pm singapore time. wells it takes 3 hours to get back from the site where i dived. i ate lunch and dinner on the boat, and i watched the sun set on the horizon. i could see it sinking down into the sea, and the sky was all colourful like a rainbow - red, orange, pink, blue and purple. and the clouds were all different shapes. and when the sun went down and the stars came out..it was great. i could see orion's belt and the northern cross (which is a constellation which points north!) and there were so many hundreds more stars here than in singapore. hahaha...and i could see fireworks cos it's chinese new year. awesome!

ohyeshh...on the first day we went kayaking in the mangroves somewhere, which took us 2 and a half hours to get there by boat. yeahh...unfortunately the tide was so low (cos there's no moon during chinese new year, and if you remember your primary science, the gravitational pull of the moon or something like that affects the tide) we were stuck in the mangrove. so i had to get out and pull my kayak along with my mom - we took a double, see? - and outta the mangrove in the yucky squishy, squelchy mud. and my dad made it even worse when he started to comment on how all the insects from the mud were now burrowing their way through my foot and into my foot. hahh...but i saw sea otters! and monkeys! and colourful mudskippers! amazing! then i walked on the beach of some random island to collect shells as souvenirs for you all~ but then when i reached home i found out i had a bit of shell stuck in the sole of my foot and my dad had to squeeze it out. hmphhh...

wells, i'm gonna sleep now, gonna be another long day tomorrow. (:

runrunrunrunrun

yayy i finally managed to force myself to go downstairs and find some batteries for my mouse :D it works now! wooot! hahaha...today was alrighty. got back all our tests and stuff for chinese. i totally flunked chinese ting xie and zuo wen. )): 3 and 1 mark respectively. gahh i dunno lahh i'm just going to flunk my overall. grrrr!!! then bio test was okay. hahahaha i fell asleep at the end cos i ended pretty early, and i kept on jerking myself awake. like spasms once every minute. hahahah i felt so embarrased..but i can't help it ): then i had to go to the loo veryvery badly so i just rushed straight outta class to the toilet. hahahahahaah!! hmmm then met with 13 other sprinters and hurdlers at the basketball court at 3.45pm to go to NYJC. it felt so cool, when ms lim stood on the concrete block thing next to the benches and told us to behave ourself there and blahblahblah. i felt like i was some kinda special ops team being sent out to complete a top secret mission. hahahaha! took circle line there and helped to unload the power hurdles from the back seat of ms chua's car...she helped to unload herself or else we might accidentally bang the car with the hurdles and her dad will kill her. ah wells, i don't blame her. i'd be extremely paranoid if i were her too. hahaha. wells, the track there is in totally bad shape sadly. it's so hard it's as if you're running on concrete, and most of it is black and there are huge holes in it, as joy and yiyi said, if an elephant was wearing cookie cutters on it's feet, that's the shape and size it would have made. correct me people, if i'm exaggerating. wells, won't complain! it's better than nothing...hurdlers did 80mH and 100mH 5 hurdles per lane. then 400m once timing full speed...i felt so weird. and i realised my hand started to make funny shapes while i ran. ended early at 6.15pm! wheee! that means we only trained for 2 hours? ahahaha. then petrina and hazel and annabel called to ask how training was. so cuteee~ hahahahah!! ((:

so you sailed away into a grey sky morning

tooty wooty

SAA was yesterdayy.
the hurdlers did great~ wheee! hahaha! i'm so proud of my juniors :D first time they tried hurdles with starting blocks, and they didn't knock any down! woot! hahaha! and yayy i made a PB...haha but it won't do much good cos i won't be running 80mHurdles anymore =.= sighh ah wells what to dooo? but now i'm a 100% hurdler! whoa! i really can't believe it! no more 400m! except for relays of course, but at least it ain't individual! hahahah! oh em geee i'm so happyeee...todayy i got hit by the basketball twice during recess while i was playing with annabel and lucinda and jia en etc...once it bounced on my head and the other slammed straight into my nose. ): then hmmm nothing much. chinese was strangely alright today. then painted my chinese thingy. hahaha, the xin nian kuai le thingy on red paperr. hahahah yayy very funn~ hmmmm..i think i died for ting xie. ehhh screwed up my chem test. have i mentioned that before? and ehhh as ms lim said, exactly one more month to sph relay. soo hurdlers and 400m runners are going to NYJC on wednesday to train! how exciting! hahaha! but this wed i have bio test, and they might have to leave without me. ): but then ms chua might be able to bring me along in her car. muahahahah!! XD and that's weird, cos i should be studying for biology right now but i'm not. and i spent 20min unhemming my pinafore cos it's too short, and now my fingers sting cos of the way i pulled the thread out. hehehe. ahhh i'm so tired. ):

"Ah well," he said presently, "he is dead, but he died like a man."

you're breaking my heart

sighh totally screwed up my chem test. ):
bio practical was quite fun. i offered to give my cheek cells as a specimen for lucinda and annabel to observe under the microscope, and it seems my specimen was actually quite good! i'm so happy with myself~ hahaha! and the chloroplasts are so cool. you can actually see them bouncing off one another, like puny green tadpoles in pinball.
did hurdles for skills today, didn't go for tramp skills cos i was training for it in the afternoon. we filmed each other while doing hurdles. my thighs are so big ): and i jump too high, and my arms are all over the place, and my supporting leg is all straight when i kick it out. boohoohoo. anyway, lucinda stabbed me with a pen today, so i have ink in my left forearm. actually, she wanted to stab me in the stomach but i blocked it off with my arm...haha. then played captain's ball with the seniors and got stratched by one of them too. grrr....
went for tramp training, and i was the only one there. i crashed rather badly for some of them, hahaha...but i think i prefer training alone. it may be lonelier, but it gives you time to think about stuff. mmmhmmm...really like it that way. ooh and the start-lists for 2nd SAA are out. i'm running with jannah. noooo! dunwanna. )):<

i'm broken inside..

save me noww

i sent dayna off at the airport yesterday ):
it's quite sad! she says she might not be coming back for 2 years cos it's so ex to travel out of new zealand. goshh...next time we'll be able to see her will be in JC. poof! so yeahh...took random pics with her and stuff. her brother is very violent - he started slapping people cos it was a sorta game. well, he SAID it was a game. anywayy...there was this really weirdo guy at yck mrt. and he kept on asking me where i lived and my name and my age and my number...course i didn't tell him my number. he even asked me to sit next to him. i did but i sat about 0.5m away and turned my back to him. hahahahaha....then thank goodness the train came and i told him i was getting on the next one. my mom said i should give him a fake name next time. like, tan ah mui or something. i think that sounds gross. so i shall be

Emily Wee Ting Ting

man that sounds quite nice. hahaha! ehh i signed up for YCS...Young Christian Students...or was it Young Catholic Students? anyway, it's a self-initiative CCA, so i have 3 CCAs right now. hahaha! cos it's supposed to help you with your relationship with God, and help you to grow closer to him. it has meetings on tuesday from 3-3.45pm...but i'm not so sure if signing up was a good choice or not. dunno if i can cope. maybe i should get advice from my mom. hehe...

anyway, listen to this song...it's quite nice (: